I don’t often talk about my recovery. More often than not, I’m recording the exercise for the day or what food I’ve eaten. But I’d like to take a moment to reflect on where I am, and some of the challenges I’m facing. The inner voice in unrelenting which makes progress rather difficult, but I manage to get by each day going through the motions with what I feel is positive (exercising and eating enough). My main difficulty is overcoming the rush of guilt that follows eating, whether it be an apple or a bowl of oatmeal, I can’t shake the feeling of shame. In the even that this could be triggering, I did not tag any eating disorder related terms, but even so, I hope this does not have a negative affect on anyone’s progress. I initially started this blog to find people like me, struggling, but it turned into something different. I thought it was better to stay completely positive, and to focus only on the fitness aspect of my daily routine. What I’ve come to realize, however, is that shoving this persistent voice under the rug is not doing myself any good. I am doing the best that I can, and I try to maintain a positive outlook, but at times I need to let my guard down and really allow for the raw emotions to come to the surface. Overcoming obstacles is not about ignoring them, but about facing them head-on with honesty and integrity. If I’m not honest with myself, I will never move forward in my life. Thanks to a wonderful support system, I no longer feel the need to hide beneath my inner struggles, but I still find it difficult to own up to my weaknesses as they stand. Hopefully, I can begin to let the wax coating of myself melt away and I will be free.